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Wherever you lay your helmet...
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Aural fyx
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with YOUR fyx
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It's in the bag!
One of Melburn's best hustler's was seriously injured on the road.
Don't you just love it when cars pull into a park when you are alongside, forcing you to the curb...!
Liam, who is HELLO COURIER was dealt that card and now has a broken hand, stitches above the eye, and a lot of road rash.
Proof that you can't keep a good courier down - I covered for him while he went to the specialist to uncover the severity of his broken hand.
Follow Me Around
Prior to becoming a courier I must admit there was always a fascination with 'what it'd be like' to work as a courier. The continued copying of courier style is evidence that this fascination is not only strong, but widespread.
So to give all aspiring 'wannabe' couriers a looking glass into being a courier, an INDEPENDANT one at that, I'll take you through my afternoon.
12.00 Start
Take Liam's phone, get handed jobs, all due to 2 hours.
Pick up the city jobs going out, and think about the outer jobs coming back in and how they might link up between now and 2pm. Hopefully a spanner ( job in the opposition direction potentially with a higher priority) wont be thrown in the middle.
City - Toorak
City - Prahran
South Melbourne - Port Melbourne (an A4 box)
Toorak - Armidale
So I pick up the city jobs. A bundle of newpapers, and dental moulds.
I head to Toorak (ra ra ra, Darling) avoiding numerous BMW and Porsche SUV's, splitting botoxed beauties along the way.
Pick up the Toorak - Armidale (Hospital grrrr!) and though the weight of the papers is telling me to drop them first, the smart move is to drop the hospital and come back on the others.
At around 1pm I get a call from a client booking a St Kilda to South Melbourne on a 3 hr service.
Lovely! A nice cruisy job to bring me back to the South Melbourne to pick up the Port Melbourne (box).
At the same time another client calls me to make sure the Toorak has been dropped and when the Port Melbourne will be delivered.
I politely tell them it will be delivered by 2pm as BOOKED, unless they'd prefer to ugrade the job.
I whip out to the Hospital, which are notoriously bad for making deliveries to, and having spent a good chunk of time in hospital is not a nice place to go. However, it's no drama, and all is in order as I head to St Kilda to pick up the next job, the weight of the papers reminding me I haven't delivered them.
I stick my head into The Cross which is a stone's throw from the client pick-up to shoot the breeze for 3 minutes to Greg who is a velo-addict and needs help with his addiction. Good luck with that!
Pick-up the St 'Ilda - South and hop on russian roulette of Melburn commuting - Chapel St.
Click. click. click. Quick turn on High, and drop those papers which has been slowing me down for 1.5 hours now.
Shoot across the Greville ghetto and take Commercial flat chat to Coventry to drop - and pick up Clarendon to be SOMEWHERE in Port Melbourne (Melbourne's ugliest postcode) in 30 minutes / pray a spanner doesn't pop up.
I get a nice run of lights to Coventry, and it's a DEAL (or no Deal) to the Global Studios.
I even time the lights at Kingsway, an intersection that I doubt even Felipe would try and bust.
Here's the spanner.
The South Melbourne - Port Melb is a box. I knew that. The client says ' I told them it was a big box' which I politely reply that it isn't a problem - I'm a big guy.. hahaha. 'Oh, and it's heavy too!' which was not made note of.
Small fortune is that it's going to Woodruff st, which borders the St Kilda CC Crits Course, and not the end of Todd rd/end of the earth.
With only 20 minutes to deliver it, and the hassle of potentially trying to get a motorbike to grab it - I smile at the client again telling them it is no problem, and lift the 15kg box, and secure it into my PAC, which truly is the Rolls Royce of courier bags.
The client gives some sloppy directions to Woodruff st, Port and I crawl my way there.
Phone rings - clients wants to know already if it has been delivered. I tell them I'm in Port Melbourne now. They book a Richmond - City on a 2 hr at the same time.
I drop the lead weight at Port and have an empty bag and 2 hours to get from Richmond to the city. Breathe easy.
I've been holding some 'french goods' for PAM, so I get on the blower and let M know I'll be there soon.
Finally, 2 hours of constant rocking and time for a breather.
Phone rings.
Middle Park - South Melbourne 1hr
City - City 1hr
I leave M with the parts for his french project and roll south from Swan St away from the Richmond pick because now I'm pressed for time.
On Punt the phone rings again. Deep in 3 lanes of traffic I take the call. Client has two St Kilda rd pick ups, one to the city, one to Richmond.
5 tonne-ish St Kilda Rd - City
6 tonne-ish St Kilda Rd - Richmond
SWEET! A Richmond pick and drop.
I fire down St Kilda Rd around the river, when I really should have taken Punt Rd Hill (and realise this a quarter of the way around).
Grab the 2 jobs from 'The road', take the Murder EXPRESS (Queens Pde) to Albert Park and slide across to Middle Park. The pick is on Canterbury Pl so I figure to ride that rather than Canterbury Rd - WRONG!
The bonus is Canterbury Pl may well be a sector of PAVE for next years Melburn Roobaix. I batter myself over the cobbles to the client and pick up the job.
The City-City client calls. 'Where are you? We actually need it there now.'
SPANNER.
I had planned on zipping back out to Richmond to pick and drop, but now the client has forced my hand and after trying to palm off the job to other couriers unsuccessfully, I decide the best strategy is 53:14 on a full head of steam.
I make it from Middle Park (delivering to South Melbourne in the middle)to the Paris End of Collins in 5 minutes, pick up the job and another 2 minutes and I'm in the center of town with a Richmond pick/drop.
Relief.
I've got 35 minutes to pick and drop in Richmond. However Richmond is a large postcode, and I've got both corners to cover so I waste no time.
Drop a deep Swan st, pick up at another Hosiptal, and I'm coming into the big smoke with 2 jobs - one across the street from the other.
I roll up to the first drop and see a gentlemen holding boxes of dental moulds waiting for the lift (which also happens to be one of the slower lift/elevators in Melbourne)
'You're not going to ***** by any chance are you?'
Sure am.
'Would you care to make my life a lot easier and pass this on to them'
No problem.
Now, in my career this approach has NEVER backfired but it does has the potential to.
I thank him kindly, and cross Collins to find the GG and Liam talking in the foyer of the building I'm dropping at.
While he's been rollin' and rantin' about how he is 'retiring' and will be a tram driver very soon, I've covered a shade under 60km, juggled numerous spanners, and seen a good chunk of Melbourne at high speed with NO TIME FOR COFFEE!
Liam's injury isn't AS severe so he's going to attempt to continue to do what I've just done - with a broken hand.
It's 4pm so we do go for THAT coffee.
Liam and I laugh about the manic times and the thrill dealing with it, and occasionally getting on top of it.
I roll home and the speedo clicks over the tonne for the afternoon after my etape of Le Cup d Commuter. I then proced to eat enough food for a small army.
What makes a good courier?
It's a constantly argued, heavily pondered question.
A good courier has a 'can do' attitude. Sometimes doing what you don't want to do - with a smile on your dial. Even if the smile is only reserved for the client on pick-up and delivery.
A spanner is not having to trek one corner of the city to the other only to come back on it. It's riding 7km on a regular basis to pick up a job coming back in.
In the indy league, a set of legs will set you appart so all the pularva about speed not counting is rubbish/garbage which belongs in the bin - not a document tub.
The other question that EVERYONE asks a courier is which city is the hardest.
You can make your life hard on yourself by being a muppet, so regardless of city, life will be hard.
Each city has it's own traps, but geographically which one has the biggest 'circuit'?
Size aside, the northern hemisphere winters are rotten. Dark, wet, REALLY wet (Van) and snow if you include New York (sometimes London/Vancouver). SF has the counter punch with killer hills.
What's Melburn got?
Probably the most agressive, intolerant drivers of the lot.
This Friday night a benefit Alleycat is being held for those recently injured couriers. Liam needs more help than enyone as all other companies have the fortune of a fleet of riders to cover the work.
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Comments
on April 17 2008 11:02:12
A bloody awesome account of a very hard days work: I have great admiration for what you guys do - if I was only 10 years younger, I'd give it a go myself! Keep up the good work..... 
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on April 18 2008 04:11:53
Cool post Andy. |
on April 20 2008 00:33:48
An interesting insight into the life. Thanks for sharing. |
on April 23 2008 12:04:32
Just want to wish Liam the best of luck in his recovery. |
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